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Sarcastic Holiday Greetings for Coworkers (That Won't Get You Fired)

Witty, safe-for-work humor for the people you spend 40 hours a week with. Perfect for the office holiday card exchange.

SarcasticWittyOffice-Appropriate

Finding the right holiday message for a coworker can be tricky. You want to be funny, but not too funny. Here are some perfectly balanced, witty, and office-appropriate messages that say 'Happy Holidays' without also saying 'I'd like a meeting with HR.'

Sarcastic Holiday Greetings for Coworkers

On Holiday Time Off

  • "Happy Holidays! Enjoy your well-deserved time off. My gift to you is not sending any 'urgent' emails."

  • "May your vacation be long and your inbox be empty upon your return. (We can all dream, can't we?)"

  • "Have a great holiday! Try not to think about the mountain of work waiting for you. I know I won't be thinking about mine."

  • "Enjoy the time off! Let's hope the new year brings a shorter commute and better coffee."

    • On Office Parties & Teamwork

  • "Happy Holidays to the only person who understands the silent, shared suffering of a 3-hour meeting."

  • "Thanks for another year of being my work spouse. Couldn't have survived it without you."

  • "Merry Christmas! Thanks for always being there to look at when I'm trying not to roll my eyes in a meeting."

  • "Cheers to the person who makes this place slightly less corporate. Happy Holidays!"

    • General Witty Wishes

  • "May your holidays be merry, your new year be bright, and your coffee be strong when we get back. We'll need it."

  • "Happy Holidays! Looking forward to another year of getting stuff done together... eventually."

  • "Wishing you a stress-free holiday season, which is the opposite of a normal workday. Enjoy!"

  • "Happy Holidays! Let's crush it next year. But first, let's crush some cookies."

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